Praying in the Potty

Jon was transfered to the ARU (Acute Rehabilitation Unit) today, and tomorrow he starts a 7-10 day live-in rehabilitation program.  We are confident his recovery will only get better and stronger as he is in their care.  As I was unpacking him into his new room, I walked into the bathroom and found a sense of calm and comfort.  Funny, I know.  And no, it's not because I have issues with the potty.  ;) It actually has nothing to do with the toilet - and everything to do with the 4 walls, 1 door, and 1 lock.  What I realized is this: Over the past week, the bathroom has become my sanctuary.  It has been my safe place.  My go-to.  There are no friends, no family, no doctors, no nurses, no beeping machines, no cell phone or computer, and even no Jon.  It has become my place to pray, to plead, to cry, to gather thoughts, to mourn, and to plead more.  Don't get me wrong - I have processed and talked and cried and prayed with family, friends, doctors...  But sometimes you need to be alone.  Just you and God.  Take off the brave face and get real with The One who holds it all in the palm of His freaking hand.  (can I get a "holy crap! that's crazy!"??)  To get real with The One who created Jon's body and knows it inside and out - who knows how many hairs are on his head and who gathers my tears in a bottle.  The doctors are brilliant and the friends are amazingly supportive and the family is in the thick of it with me.  But God?  He's the AUTHOR of peace.  The GIVER of hope.  The SOURCE of comfort.  The Great Physician.  He IS love.  These descriptions sound so cliche.  Until you literally have no control left and no answers and no way to help yourself.  And then the Truth of those descriptions become what you live for.  They become as necessary as air.  And so I've found this need.  This need to escape.  Not in an unhealthy, can't face reality kind of way.  But in a 'I need to commune with the living God' kind of way.  And as it so happens, the only place to do that around here, is in the bathroom.  My new favorite room in this place.  My personal sanctuary.