I Choose the Happy Dance...

So Jon and I got to put our mad "I Spy" skillz to the test today.  (If you missed my last post, just know that we are working overtime to develop a keen eye...)  ;)

So anyway, we went to the mailbox to get the mail...
And....

I Spy...

Ya.  I know what you're thinking.  I thought it too.  Letter from health insurance.  Bill from hospital.  Letter from insurance.  Bla bla bla.  I can't face that today.

Wait a minute.

Let me look closer.

I SPY...

YUP!  That first line says, "We are REVERSING OUR PREVIOUS DECISION..."

You know the eye specialist we were referred to at UCI that our insurance denied?  Well I've never been more proud to be an advocate for my husband.  They REVERSED their decision!!!!!!!   This is a HUGE answer to prayer.  This is a HUGE blessing!!!!   WAHOO!!!!  (Insert me doing the Happy Dance....  Doing the Jig... etc...)  Can I get a WOOT WOOT!?!??  This is GINORMOUS.  A door had been closed.  And it is now open!  God is good!!!  We are THRILLED.

Pause.
Open other mail.

The next letter?  It was another "Denial" from our insurance.  They are denying our referral to see the head of Neurosurgery at USC.  We really really REALLY need to see him.  He's the best of the best.  And they said no.  Ugh.  You know the 3rd  letter?  It was a bill.   Like, the kind of bill with a comma in the amount.  Another Ugh.  But what do we know about that 1st letter again??  IT SAID MY HUSBAND GETS TO SEE AN INCREDIBLE NEURO-OPTHEMOLOGIST!!!   APPROVAL!!!!  REVERSED DECISION!!!  FAVOR!!!

(Insert another Happy Dance!!)

Roller coaster.  High!  Low!  Hope!  Discouragement! Celebration!  Pain!

This trip to the mailbox was just a snapshot of the life we all live, right?  There is good.  And hard.  And overwhelming.  And exciting.  And blessings.  And on...and on....  And all these things exist at the exact same time.  Within the same day, or even same hour sometimes, we can receive a roller coaster experience.   That part is out of our control.  It's called life.  But what we can control is what we focus on.  What we allow to consume us.  Do we allow fear and anxiety and discouragement to rule our hearts?  Because they are ever present, waiting to settle in if we allow it.  Or do we allow goodness and blessings to transform us.  Gratefulness and gratitude is ours to feel as well... What do we choose?  Where we focus will drastically effect our level of joy and peace.

The reality is, it's not that the bill isn't overwhelming.  And it's not that the new "Denial" isn't going to require my time and attention.  It is!  But before I dive into any of that, I have to celebrate.  I have to acknowledge The Good that happened.  I need to take the time to do the happy dance.   A door was opened.  A prayer was answered.  Favor was found.  Blessing received.  I don't want to miss it.  I don't want to take it for granted.  I want to soak it in.  I want to have eyes to see it in its fullness.  Anyone can Spy what is wrong.  The hard.  The roadblocks.  That's easy to pinpoint.  Jon often reminds me that anyone can shoot down ideas in a brainstorming session.  That's the easy part.  It takes much more skill to be the one to come up with the ideas while brainstorming.  Similarly, I am learning that it takes a skilled Spy-er to see that even when there is a lot of Wrong, there can be Right too.  It just takes a trained eye.

So today I got the opportunity to test out my developing skillz.
Today I saw saw the good, the bad and the ugly.
And you know what I can't believe?
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY REVERSED THEIR DECISION AND MY HUSBAND GETS TO SEE THIS DOCTOR!!!!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be over here doing the Happy Dance.