Thursday, May 11, 2017

Is Mother's Day for Me? Or is it for my Mom and Mother-in-Law? Who Gets Mother's Day??

"Is Mother's Day for me?  Or is it for my Mom and my Mother-in-Law?
This common question, often heard circling around neighborhood parks, Chick-fil-A play areas, and online forums is a definite hot button for most young moms.  Who actually gets Mother's Day?  Certainly my Mother-in-Law was celebrated in her day.  And I sure as heck know my mom got all the breakfast-in-bed she could handle when I was little.  So isn't Mother's Day finally mine??  Haven't I paid my dues?  I mean, I haven't washed my hair in 4 days or gotten a full nights sleep in 4 years.  For the love of all things holy, just give me a mere 24 hours!

Here's the deal.
You're right.  You should be celebrated.
So should she.

We are now in this Sisterhood... together.  I'm 12 years in, she's 38 years in.  She looks back on the good 'ol days... and I'm in the midst of living them.  Same journey, different stage.  They say you never stop being a mom.  Clearly, it changes.  But the undying, sacrificial, I'd stand in front of a train for you kind of love?  Never ends.

Now I don't know whether it matters which day you celebrate.  Saturday?  Sunday?  Next week?  There's not a one size fits all.  Just don't get so lost in yourself that you forget those who went before you.

So why, as a young mom to 4 young kids, do I feel so passionate about it?

Because this.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom (and sisters) and me a few years ago.  My mom... My best friend.  Type A.  Energetic.  Hilarious.  Life of the party.  My "first call."  My biggest cheerleader.  The ultimate in #momgoals.

And this is my mom and me on Mother's Day last year....

Shortly after turning 60 years young, a brain disease began to attack my mom's brain and her body.  At the time of this picture, she was unable to speak, barely able to walk, and was functioning at the equivalence of a 1 year old.

Almost 6 months to the day after this picture was taken, I sat by my mom's bed and watched my best friend take her last breath.  I cannot describe the excruciating pain of that moment.

What I wouldn't give to spend one more Mother's Day with her, lavishing her with my time and giving her more eskimo kisses.

So do I want to sleep in?  Desperately.  Do I want a day of pampering?  You better believe it.  But not under the banner of neglecting the ones who went before me.  The ones who mentored me and showed me.  Who cheer me on and fill in the gaps.  I don't regret one Mother's Day spent with my Mom and my Mother-in-Law.  Do I change a diaper on that day?  Nope.  Do I cut the kids food and take them potty?  Nope.  My husband still gives me a day off from "mom-ing" the regular stuff.  And then he schedules a spa day for me every year -  on a day shortly after Mother's Day... so I can get that much needed day off I so desire.   A day that's all mine.

But Mother's Day?  That day I gladly share.  Because you never know.  You never know how many more you have with yours.  And with his.  Life is precious.  Moms are precious.

So have your day.  But make sure they have theirs too.
Because us moms - All of us - are worth celebrating.

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