So I'm pretty sure my friend just went on the best date ever.
She and her husband are in a busy and difficult season of life, as they are raising 3 young (and active) children, they've had job transitions, and most recently a close family member was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
So as her husband's birthday was approaching, she asked him what he would like to do to celebrate his big day. His response was brilliant:
"I'd like to do a 'Random Acts of Kindness Day' date."
Now friends, this might be the coolest date idea EVER. We've all heard of doing a "random act of kindness." But devoting a whole date to it? Or an entire day? What a life-altering, perspective changing experience! Serving others changes you. It just does. Taking your eyes off of your own circumstances for a day and having eyes to see the world around you and searching for ways to bless that world? That's a game changer.
I'm going to suggest this is the best 1st Date idea ever.
It's also the best 100th Date idea ever.
It's also the best Family Date idea ever. (To cultivate a heart of service into your children? Priceless.)
I literally got off the phone with my friend and ran to my computer to write this down.
I cannot wait to do this with my husband.
And I can't wait to do this with my kids.
You can sit down and brainstorm ideas that work for you and your community.
But here's the list they made....
1) Get 2 rolls of pennies and place them around the fountains at the mall, so kids can make wishes.
2) Buy school supplies to fill backpacks for kids/families in need. (When they dropped off the supplies, they also brought the girl who organizes it all a Starbucks.)
3) Go to the hospital and leave coins at vending machines.
4) Buy fancy sea shells and anonymously drop them around the beach for children to find.
5) Buy a box of dog treats and deliver to the Dog Park.
6) Go to Subway and buy 5 footlong sandwiches and have them cut into 10, 6-inch sandwiches. Buy a bag of apples and a case of water bottles. Drive around downtown and hand out to the homeless.
6) Buy lunch for the person behind you in the drive-thru line.
7) Go to the laundromat. Put quarters in plastic ziplock bags and tape them to random machines.
8) Drive around town and leave coins on Parking Meters
9) Buy ice cream from the ice cream man for kids at the beach. (this could be done in your local neighborhood too)
10) Buy Starbucks for the person behind you.
11) Go to Costco and buy 2 meals and drop off with 2 different families. (they did 1 family who is expecting a baby in 2 weeks, and another family who just had a baby and the mom had her first day back at work that day.)
12) Go to an embroidery/tshirt making store and have them make a personalized custom item for someone going through a difficult situation and deliver it. (They had a personalized baseball hat made for a little boy they know who was recently diagnosed with cancer. They put his "I'm a fighter" type nickname on it.)
13) Buy flowers and drop them off during BINGO at the local Senior Center.
14) Buy all the supplies for banana splits and dropped it off at the door of a person who has encouraged your life.
The possibilities are endless!
Be creative!
I love these ideas because they bless special people in your lives as well as total strangers!
Sometimes we just need to let someone go in front of us in line. That act alone can shift our focus from "self" to "others."
And yet other times we need to spend several hours proactively blessing and serving others. It's healing and hope-infusing.
Let's do this!
And the more we do it, maybe, just maybe, these random acts of kindness will become less "random" and more "second nature." And soon we'll just call it An Intentional Life of Kindness.
That would be beautiful.
I'm in.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Squeeze and Space
I was recently invited to write a guest blog post for the incredible writer/blogger/speaker, Leeana Tankersley. Leeana has a beautiful gift with words and her newest book, "Breathing Room" is soon to be hot off the press! I feel SO honored to have been asked to guest blog on her site. I invite you to check out her blog and her new blog series, Squeeze and Space, that I was invited to write on. :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
The Big MRI Results.....
First, let me thank you for your 'grace' on my last post. I typically have time to re-read posts before I hit "publish." I usually have time to process and think etc... Today, I had a short window of time coupled with a myriad of emotions. Probably not the best combo. ;) But you were kind and gracious and let me express my "half baked" thoughts. Thank you. :)
Well, to quote my Facebook status update: "Today the miraculous DID happen! Jon's tumor did NOT grow!!! NO radiation! (for now at least) Next MRI is in 6 months!!!"
I honestly still can't believe it. I'm still trying to exhale. Here's how it went down:
Our neurosurgeon called us out of the regular "doctor/examination room" and walked us into his personal office. He sat down at his desk and we sat down across from him. He angled his computer screen so that we could see it and proceeded to tell us he had very good news for us. He showed us Jon's 9 month (post op) MRI and compared it to Jon's 6 month (post op) MRI. He said the tumor size is virtually the same as it was 3 months ago. The tumor had not grown at all. He said this was VERY good news.
Let me say it again and try to explain how cool this is:
*The MRI that was done right after Jon's surgery revealed a tiny sliver of tumor that our Neuro had left in surgery (attached to his facial nerve).
*Jon's 6 month post-op MRI revealed the tumor had grown and was growing at a fast rate. (Typical rate of growth is 1mm per year. Jon's tumor had grown 6mm in 5 months!)
*Today's 9 month MRI looked exactly the same as it did at 6 months. Which is very odd, since it was supposedly growing at such an alarming rate.
The Doctor was baffled by this whole situation. He said, "The only possible explanation for this, would be that the MRI that was done right after Jon's surgery was inaccurate. It must not have captured the whole thing. It must have been this size since Day 1, because tumor's don't just grow at alarming rates and then stop growing out of no where at 6 months." I responded, "Yes, that could be. OR the fact that we've been praying and have a ton of people praying." He looked at us and said, "Well, there's that too. Who knows. We'll never know!"
*Since the tumor is not growing any more, and it is on the edge of Jon's brain and not pushing onto his brain or growing into his brain, the doctor said NO RADIATION is necessary at this point!
The reality is, there are 2 options:
1) If the tumor was this size all along, then Jon would have undergone Radiation on his brain unnecessarily! God prompted us to ask for that "pause button." We got a 2nd and 3rd opinion and were patient to take the 3 months to double check the tumor's growth. God's hand was so clearly guiding us and with us!
2) If the tumor was indeed smaller right after surgery and then grew extensively in the first 6 months... and then just stopped growing? That is nothing short of a miracle!!! God's hand was so clearly on Jon!
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what in the world happened. We may never know. And I couldn't care less. God is good! He is faithful! He has been so present - guiding each step of this journey. We feel SO grateful for the prayers of so many going up on our behalf. THANK YOU!
So what is next???
Jon's next MRI is in 6 months. If Jon's tumor doesn't grow and that MRI reveals everything has remained the same/stable for 6 months, he'll then switch to having MRI's only once a year! Yes, it's once a year for the rest of his life, but we'll take it! They will monitor the tumor every year to watch for any growth. If it ever grows, then we'll begin the radiation/surgery conversation again. Until then, I'm washing my hands of that topic! :)
The Neuro said now we get to just focus our attention completely on Jon's recovery and his post-op illnesses/issues. Possible eye surgery coming up... keep working on his balance... keep expanding his stamina... keep working on his management of details.... talk about possible specialized surgeries on different nerves to help bring movement to his face... etc... etc... etc... Yes, there is still a lot to deal with. But a growing tumor aint one of them!!!! :)
Thank you for praying. Thank you for supporting and encouraging. Thank you for believing with us. We are so humbled by your love. We are so grateful for you.
Please continue to pray with us - specifically for the biggest issue at hand - Jon's eye pain. We are currently looking at eye surgery options with our health insurance etc... Please pray with us that God would open doors for that to be done. It's not guaranteed that would eliminate his eye pain, but there is a big chance it could! And please continue to pray for Jon's facial nerve to restore. We believe God is able!
Thank you again.
And again.
And again.
Going to bed with a grateful heart,
Deanna
Well, to quote my Facebook status update: "Today the miraculous DID happen! Jon's tumor did NOT grow!!! NO radiation! (for now at least) Next MRI is in 6 months!!!"
I honestly still can't believe it. I'm still trying to exhale. Here's how it went down:
Our neurosurgeon called us out of the regular "doctor/examination room" and walked us into his personal office. He sat down at his desk and we sat down across from him. He angled his computer screen so that we could see it and proceeded to tell us he had very good news for us. He showed us Jon's 9 month (post op) MRI and compared it to Jon's 6 month (post op) MRI. He said the tumor size is virtually the same as it was 3 months ago. The tumor had not grown at all. He said this was VERY good news.
Let me say it again and try to explain how cool this is:
*The MRI that was done right after Jon's surgery revealed a tiny sliver of tumor that our Neuro had left in surgery (attached to his facial nerve).
*Jon's 6 month post-op MRI revealed the tumor had grown and was growing at a fast rate. (Typical rate of growth is 1mm per year. Jon's tumor had grown 6mm in 5 months!)
*Today's 9 month MRI looked exactly the same as it did at 6 months. Which is very odd, since it was supposedly growing at such an alarming rate.
The Doctor was baffled by this whole situation. He said, "The only possible explanation for this, would be that the MRI that was done right after Jon's surgery was inaccurate. It must not have captured the whole thing. It must have been this size since Day 1, because tumor's don't just grow at alarming rates and then stop growing out of no where at 6 months." I responded, "Yes, that could be. OR the fact that we've been praying and have a ton of people praying." He looked at us and said, "Well, there's that too. Who knows. We'll never know!"
*Since the tumor is not growing any more, and it is on the edge of Jon's brain and not pushing onto his brain or growing into his brain, the doctor said NO RADIATION is necessary at this point!
The reality is, there are 2 options:
1) If the tumor was this size all along, then Jon would have undergone Radiation on his brain unnecessarily! God prompted us to ask for that "pause button." We got a 2nd and 3rd opinion and were patient to take the 3 months to double check the tumor's growth. God's hand was so clearly guiding us and with us!
2) If the tumor was indeed smaller right after surgery and then grew extensively in the first 6 months... and then just stopped growing? That is nothing short of a miracle!!! God's hand was so clearly on Jon!
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what in the world happened. We may never know. And I couldn't care less. God is good! He is faithful! He has been so present - guiding each step of this journey. We feel SO grateful for the prayers of so many going up on our behalf. THANK YOU!
So what is next???
Jon's next MRI is in 6 months. If Jon's tumor doesn't grow and that MRI reveals everything has remained the same/stable for 6 months, he'll then switch to having MRI's only once a year! Yes, it's once a year for the rest of his life, but we'll take it! They will monitor the tumor every year to watch for any growth. If it ever grows, then we'll begin the radiation/surgery conversation again. Until then, I'm washing my hands of that topic! :)
The Neuro said now we get to just focus our attention completely on Jon's recovery and his post-op illnesses/issues. Possible eye surgery coming up... keep working on his balance... keep expanding his stamina... keep working on his management of details.... talk about possible specialized surgeries on different nerves to help bring movement to his face... etc... etc... etc... Yes, there is still a lot to deal with. But a growing tumor aint one of them!!!! :)
Thank you for praying. Thank you for supporting and encouraging. Thank you for believing with us. We are so humbled by your love. We are so grateful for you.
Please continue to pray with us - specifically for the biggest issue at hand - Jon's eye pain. We are currently looking at eye surgery options with our health insurance etc... Please pray with us that God would open doors for that to be done. It's not guaranteed that would eliminate his eye pain, but there is a big chance it could! And please continue to pray for Jon's facial nerve to restore. We believe God is able!
Thank you again.
And again.
And again.
Going to bed with a grateful heart,
Deanna
Dread...
Today at 3:15pm, Jon and I will meet with his neurosurgeon to get the results from his MRI. This MRI will reveal if Jon's tumor really is growing as fast as they found it to be growing at his 6 month, post-op MRI. At 3:15pm we will find out if Jon needs to have radiation on his brain or even a possible 2nd brain surgery.
Our kids are attending a water sports camp down in San Diego this week, so I just drove up to meet Jon at his appointment. I didn't hit any traffic, so here I am, 90 minutes early. I glanced over at my passenger seat and there sat my laptop. God's gift to me in this moment. A chance to write. To process. To gather this jumbled mess of emotion inside of me and try to put it into words. God bless Starbucks and their free wi-fi. :)
I have never believed more in the faithfulness of God. God has been SO faithful to us in this season. I don't doubt His goodness. He is so good. He can be trusted. His people have surrounded us. He has provided for us. Sustained us. So what do I feel right now?
Dread.
I am dreading this appointment.
I remember driving Jon to the Emergency Room 9 months and 7 days ago. Jon and I were both certain they were going to send him home with a dose of Extra-Stregnth Something for his headache and we'd call it a night. Instead, they said he had a brain tumor and admitted him to ICU.
I remember driving Jon to his 6 month, Post-Operation neurosurgery appointment. Jon and I were both certain that they were going to send him home with a clean bill of health. I mean, he had the surgery. They removed 98% of the tumor and cauterized the tiny sliver left, it so it wouldn't grow any more. It was successful. He now has SSD (Single Sided Deafness) and facial paralysis to prove it. He's paid his dues. Instead, they said the tumor was growing back at an alarmingly fast rate. They scheduled him to start Radiation a week later.
After canceling his Radiation to buy us some time to make an educated decision, Jon and I got 2nd and 3rd opinions. We drove to USC to be seen by "the best." Then he was a Case Study at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach. Each time, we were hoping someone would say, "You're good! Your journey is coming to an end!" Instead, each time we were told action would need to be taken. Different doctors had their differing opinions on the timeline, but all agreed that action is needed.
We got our neurosurgeon to agree to a 3 month "Pause Button." Basically, let us wait 3 months and then do another MRI. If this MRI reveals the tumor really is growing as fast as you say it is, we will move forward with more treatment. There is no harm in double checking. Today, those 3 months are up.
We're now 60 minutes away from our next "big" appointment. And I am dreading it. This isn't my first rodeo. I've driven into this driveway. I've been hopeful. I've expected the best. And I've walked out feeling like I got socked in the gut.
I realize these feelings are raw. Not polished. I probably shouldn't even hit the "publish" button when I'm done writing this. Not sure if I will.
It has nothing to do with the faithfulness of God. It has nothing to do with His goodness or His provision or His grace. It has everything to do with my flesh. My flesh is so weak. It's tired. I know that I know that I know that whatever 3:15pm holds from the doctor will also be accompanied by whatever it is we need from God. God has NEVER left us lacking anything. He has provided what we need - and abundantly more - for each leg of this journey. So my dread is not that I worry about our needs being met. It's just the dread of knowing that we live in an imperfect, fallen, broken, sin-filled, disease-ridden world. And it's painful and hard and exhausting and scary and unsure.
I don't have answers. Yet. I don't see or know what God sees and knows. But I will tell you that I've prayed. A lot. I've asked God for good things. I've told him my fears and expressed my dread. And what is amazing and beautiful? He is near to me. So present. I can feel Him.
I'm going to hit "publish" on this blog. I realize I may offend some people, because I'm sure there are people who can't rectify the "rub" of believing God to be faithful and at the same time dreading something. But I'm going to hit "publish" anyway - because I realize there are many people who are afraid to tell God that they are mad or scared or feel dread. Sometimes we think our prayers need to be all sunshine and rainbows. We think we should be grateful for our blessings and that's it. Well let me give you permission to be real with God. God can handle it. Tell Him exactly how you feel. Tell Him what your worries are. Tell Him your struggles. I am telling God today, I believe you. I have faith in you. I know You to be faithful. But I am dreading this appointment. I resonate with Mark 9:24: "I do believe! But help me with my unbelief!"
Would you pray with Jon and me? That God would bring healing. And that God would give us peace. And that if we need to make decisions, that He would give us wisdom.
We are SO grateful for the gift of His presence through all of this. And we are SO grateful for the prayer support from all of you - who live literally all around the world. God hears us. He cares for us. He knows our story. He is able. He is faithful. He is good and generous and extravagant in His love and grace applied to our lives. We are so grateful.
I want to encourage you to invite God into your journey. Invite Him into those painful places. He alone can heal. He alone can bring true peace. He alone can bring comfort. Be real. Even with God. He can handle it. Don't think that's what prayers and talking to God should look like? The Bible says otherwise:
Psalm 55:22 - Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.
1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Join me. I'm taking my dread and "casting it onto Him." My palms are wide open. I'm not pretending like unicorns are sitting in my hands. It's dread. And God will take it from me and sustain me because He cares for me.
Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Well, it's 3:03. I gotta jet.
Courageously hitting "publish" now....
:)
xoxo
Our kids are attending a water sports camp down in San Diego this week, so I just drove up to meet Jon at his appointment. I didn't hit any traffic, so here I am, 90 minutes early. I glanced over at my passenger seat and there sat my laptop. God's gift to me in this moment. A chance to write. To process. To gather this jumbled mess of emotion inside of me and try to put it into words. God bless Starbucks and their free wi-fi. :)
I have never believed more in the faithfulness of God. God has been SO faithful to us in this season. I don't doubt His goodness. He is so good. He can be trusted. His people have surrounded us. He has provided for us. Sustained us. So what do I feel right now?
Dread.
I am dreading this appointment.
I remember driving Jon to the Emergency Room 9 months and 7 days ago. Jon and I were both certain they were going to send him home with a dose of Extra-Stregnth Something for his headache and we'd call it a night. Instead, they said he had a brain tumor and admitted him to ICU.
I remember driving Jon to his 6 month, Post-Operation neurosurgery appointment. Jon and I were both certain that they were going to send him home with a clean bill of health. I mean, he had the surgery. They removed 98% of the tumor and cauterized the tiny sliver left, it so it wouldn't grow any more. It was successful. He now has SSD (Single Sided Deafness) and facial paralysis to prove it. He's paid his dues. Instead, they said the tumor was growing back at an alarmingly fast rate. They scheduled him to start Radiation a week later.
After canceling his Radiation to buy us some time to make an educated decision, Jon and I got 2nd and 3rd opinions. We drove to USC to be seen by "the best." Then he was a Case Study at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach. Each time, we were hoping someone would say, "You're good! Your journey is coming to an end!" Instead, each time we were told action would need to be taken. Different doctors had their differing opinions on the timeline, but all agreed that action is needed.
We got our neurosurgeon to agree to a 3 month "Pause Button." Basically, let us wait 3 months and then do another MRI. If this MRI reveals the tumor really is growing as fast as you say it is, we will move forward with more treatment. There is no harm in double checking. Today, those 3 months are up.
We're now 60 minutes away from our next "big" appointment. And I am dreading it. This isn't my first rodeo. I've driven into this driveway. I've been hopeful. I've expected the best. And I've walked out feeling like I got socked in the gut.
I realize these feelings are raw. Not polished. I probably shouldn't even hit the "publish" button when I'm done writing this. Not sure if I will.
It has nothing to do with the faithfulness of God. It has nothing to do with His goodness or His provision or His grace. It has everything to do with my flesh. My flesh is so weak. It's tired. I know that I know that I know that whatever 3:15pm holds from the doctor will also be accompanied by whatever it is we need from God. God has NEVER left us lacking anything. He has provided what we need - and abundantly more - for each leg of this journey. So my dread is not that I worry about our needs being met. It's just the dread of knowing that we live in an imperfect, fallen, broken, sin-filled, disease-ridden world. And it's painful and hard and exhausting and scary and unsure.
I don't have answers. Yet. I don't see or know what God sees and knows. But I will tell you that I've prayed. A lot. I've asked God for good things. I've told him my fears and expressed my dread. And what is amazing and beautiful? He is near to me. So present. I can feel Him.
I'm going to hit "publish" on this blog. I realize I may offend some people, because I'm sure there are people who can't rectify the "rub" of believing God to be faithful and at the same time dreading something. But I'm going to hit "publish" anyway - because I realize there are many people who are afraid to tell God that they are mad or scared or feel dread. Sometimes we think our prayers need to be all sunshine and rainbows. We think we should be grateful for our blessings and that's it. Well let me give you permission to be real with God. God can handle it. Tell Him exactly how you feel. Tell Him what your worries are. Tell Him your struggles. I am telling God today, I believe you. I have faith in you. I know You to be faithful. But I am dreading this appointment. I resonate with Mark 9:24: "I do believe! But help me with my unbelief!"
Would you pray with Jon and me? That God would bring healing. And that God would give us peace. And that if we need to make decisions, that He would give us wisdom.
We are SO grateful for the gift of His presence through all of this. And we are SO grateful for the prayer support from all of you - who live literally all around the world. God hears us. He cares for us. He knows our story. He is able. He is faithful. He is good and generous and extravagant in His love and grace applied to our lives. We are so grateful.
I want to encourage you to invite God into your journey. Invite Him into those painful places. He alone can heal. He alone can bring true peace. He alone can bring comfort. Be real. Even with God. He can handle it. Don't think that's what prayers and talking to God should look like? The Bible says otherwise:
Psalm 55:22 - Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.
1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Join me. I'm taking my dread and "casting it onto Him." My palms are wide open. I'm not pretending like unicorns are sitting in my hands. It's dread. And God will take it from me and sustain me because He cares for me.
Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Well, it's 3:03. I gotta jet.
Courageously hitting "publish" now....
:)
xoxo
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Jon's MRI is at 8am!
Tomorrow morning, Sunday the 28th, at 8:00am, Jon will have an MRI. Jon's last MRI was 3 months ago and those results revealed that his brain tumor had started to grow back at quite a fast rate. Our neurosurgeon at Mission Hospital (as well as the team at Hoag Hospital) told us that Jon needed to have Radiation immediately. In an attempt to be thorough, we asked them for a 3 month "wait" period. Tomorrow, those 3 months are up. If the MRI tomorrow reveals/confirms the tumor growth, we will move forward with Radiation. If the miraculous happens and there is no growth, we will hold off on Radiation. Having Radiation on the brain is not ideal, so we wanted to double check with this additional MRI, just to be sure.
Would you pray with us tomorrow at 8am? Pray that Jon would have a nice, relaxing nap during the MRI? ;) That the MRI would be a time of rest for him? :) Would you pray with us that when they do the MRI, they see NO growth? Would you pray with us that Jon would not need Radiation?
It will be a week before we see our neurosurgeon for the results. We will keep you posted....
THANK YOU for joining us in prayer as this journey continues. We are grateful for you....
Would you pray with us tomorrow at 8am? Pray that Jon would have a nice, relaxing nap during the MRI? ;) That the MRI would be a time of rest for him? :) Would you pray with us that when they do the MRI, they see NO growth? Would you pray with us that Jon would not need Radiation?
It will be a week before we see our neurosurgeon for the results. We will keep you posted....
THANK YOU for joining us in prayer as this journey continues. We are grateful for you....
Saturday, June 21, 2014
45 Years of Marriage Never Looked So Beautiful....
This is a picture of my parents - 45 years ago, today.
On June 21, 1969, Paul Rischer and Carol Corbett had a wedding in Winnipeg, Canada. They had just turned 20 years old. Carol sewed her own wedding dress and in the ceremony, Paul and Carol sang a song to each other.
8 years earlier, Paul and Carol had met at a Province-wide music competition. Paul had won 1st Place in the 12 year olds Vocal Division. Carol had won 1st Place in the 12 year olds Piano Division. They stood next to each other in the Winners Photo. 4 years later, at age 16, Paul and Carol found themselves at the same High School and were cast as the 2 Leads in their school's production of "Brigadoon." When Paul asked Carol on a date to "practice their lines," it was an amazing coincidence that the scenes he had planned for them to rehearse were all of their kissing scenes. ;) 4 years later, these high school sweethearts had a wedding.
Their wedding was beautiful. They were madly in love. They were surrounded by family and friends. It was exactly what every young girl dreams about as a little girl.
Over the next 45 years, their marriage brought them 3 daughters, then 3 son-in-laws, and eventually 11 grandchildren. Over the next 45 years, they taught around the world on marriage. How to have a healthy marriage... How to keep a healthy sex life... How to love and respect and serve your spouse. Over the next 45 years, they continued to date. And "practice their lines from Brigadoon" - even in public - even when their teen-aged daughters acted disgusted. ;) They knew the best gift they could give their kids was a solid marriage. And so they invested in it. A lot. Over the next 45 years, they took romantic get-aways without kids on a regular basis. They held hands. They put the other person first. Their marriage was a picture of love and grace.
For 45 years, Paul and Carol planted their roots.
Deep.
They invested time.
They watered it.
And the roots grew deeper.
They spoke words of love and affection.
Words of affirmation and encouragement.
Deeper and deeper the roots grew.
45 years later, these roots are so deep that they can withstand even the fiercest storm.
45 years ago, my parents didn't just have a wedding.
They began a marriage.
A wedding is sequins and lace.
A wedding is flowers and candles.
A wedding is pretty.
A marriage is sacrifice and service.
A marriage is hard work and dedication.
A marriage is beautiful.
A wedding is pretty.
A marriage is beautiful.
Let me explain.
This is pretty:
This is beautiful:
3 years ago, at the age of 62, my mom was diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia. Her personality has become that of a young child. She has lost about 98% of her ability to speak. She cannot take care of herself. So my dad does everything from wiping her mouth to shaving her legs. My dad loves her and cares for her as if she was the exact same High-School-Sweetheart turned Bride he said "I Do" to, 45 years ago.
THIS. IS. BEAUTIFUL.
The roots. Those roots. They are beautiful. Roots of courage. And sacrifice. And love. And romance. They have never been more beautiful.
Single friends: Don't settle. Who you marry matters. You are choosing the person you will raise children with. The person you will chase dreams with. The person you will grow old with. Be choosy. Don't settle. It matters.
Engaged friends: My mom always said, "It's not official until you walk down the isle." If you have doubts or hesitations, explore those. Be thorough. The things you think will just work themselves out after you walk down the isle, won't. It's never too late to call it off if it's just not right. And you'll never regret being courageous enough to do it.
Married friends: Invest. No, not financially. Invest in the stuff that matters when money can't fix it. Love. Grace. Service. Compassion. Support. Encouragement. Patience. Those are things that water and grow your roots deep. Remember to date. Re-fuel. Fill up each other's tanks. Kiss. Hold hands. Grab his tush as you're walking past it. Believe in each other. Go to marriage counseling if you need it. Trash your pride and embrace humility.
45 years later, my parents would say one of the best decisions they've made was to commit their lives to each other. But the best day of their lives has been each day since - learning how to take something so incredibly pretty, water it, invest in it, and experience the most profoundly beautiful expression in relationship that God has ever created: Unconditional Love.
Happy 45th Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
Marriage has never looked so beautiful.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
God Showed Up... Again. And Still.
This past Monday was my birthday. While the big kids were in school, my in-laws watched the babies so I could celebrate my birthday poolside with Jon. We laid out at the St. Regis Hotel pool, compliments of a friend's hook up. The day was perfect. So relaxing, I even fell asleep in my lounge chair! It was glorious! As we were driving to pick up the babies from my in-laws, Jon and I passed this amazing hotel called "The Blue Lantern Inn" in Dana Point. 13 years ago, when Jon resigned from his position at his first job out of college, they gave us a night away at the Blue Lantern Inn as our farewell gift. It was incredible. It's right on the ocean overlooking the Dana Point Harbor. It provides wine and hors d'oeuvres each evening. Incredible breakfast each morning. Each room has a jacuzzi tub and a bedside fireplace. Need I say more? :) As we drove past the Inn on Monday, we reminisced about the time we got to stay there 13 years ago. We talked about how amazing it was and we talked about saving up so we could go back and visit someday.
Then Tuesday was Jon and my 14th wedding anniversary. I woke up in the morning to one of the babies crying. I went to stand up out of bed and I screamed in pain. I collapsed onto my bed. I knew I had gotten a sunburn on my legs the day before at the St. Regis, but this pain was different. It was fierce and intense. I tried to stand up again. Nope. The pain was debilitating. Long story short, I spent the next 2 days in bed. Literally, in bed. I didn't brush my teeth for 2 days because I couldn't even get to the sink! The best guess I have (from the 'amazing' online research I did) ;) is that it was nerve pain. The sunburn somehow did something to the nerves in my right leg. (I literally have no idea - I've never experienced anything like it.) So instead of enjoying our Anniversary with the amazing date night we had planned, we had to cancel our babysitter while I laid in bed. Such a bummer.
When everything went downhill that Tuesday, my in-laws stepped up big time. They took the babies while Jon went in to work. Then on Wednesday, they picked up the babies for an overnight sleepover. Praise God for them! I got to rest and let my leg recover.
Then Thursday morning, at 12:15am to be exact, I got an email from a friend. She said, "OK this is crazy, but sometimes crazy can work! Any chance you can have someone watch your kids for the night? We have an extra room tonight at (ready for this?) THE BLUE LANTERN INN! It is paid for and was going to sit vacant - but then we thought of you guys and knew you had to cancel your anniversary plans because of your leg. If you can make it work, it's yours!" Um, HELLO!!! What are the chances!??! At 7:45am I called my mother-in-law to 'test the waters' to see how things were going with the babies. ;) She answered the phone and said, "Good morning! I was going to ask you - Would you like us to keep the babies again tonight?'" Amazing!!! I proceeded to tell her about our offer and she was so graciously on board. Then I called an incredible friend to ask if she would break all of our rules and host a "school night sleepover" for Jackson and Taylor. ;) She graciously accepted without hesitation.
So Jon and I spent last night (Thursday night) at the Blue Lantern Inn. What a treat!
I've been reminded once again of how good God is. I am reminded of how personal His love is. I am reminded of how intimately He knows us and knows our story. Your story. My story.
How gracious of Him to not just give us a date night to replace our missed Anniversary - But to give us an extravagantly better Anniversary experience than we had even originally planned! And to make it all the more sweeter, He had us drive past the Inn on Monday, just to build the anticipation. ;)
God's ways are always gooder. ;) He can take our good plans and make them better. He can take our lame plans that we think are good and create better ones. When we make bad choices, He can redeem. When we make good choices, but are victims of circumstances, He is present - offering whatever is needed for restoration. He. Is. Gooder.
I realize this "blog post" (if you can even call it that) could have been summed up in 60 characters saying, "Jon and I spent the night at The Blue Lantern Inn last night." But I just couldn't. It was so much more than that. It was God telling us that He is here. Still.
You'd think by now His beauty would be running out for all these ashes.
But they're not.
Beauty for ashes. Beauty for ashes.
Daily.
New beauty.
Every morning.
I surrender my ashes...
And He gives me beauty in return.
He is here.
Still.
Then Tuesday was Jon and my 14th wedding anniversary. I woke up in the morning to one of the babies crying. I went to stand up out of bed and I screamed in pain. I collapsed onto my bed. I knew I had gotten a sunburn on my legs the day before at the St. Regis, but this pain was different. It was fierce and intense. I tried to stand up again. Nope. The pain was debilitating. Long story short, I spent the next 2 days in bed. Literally, in bed. I didn't brush my teeth for 2 days because I couldn't even get to the sink! The best guess I have (from the 'amazing' online research I did) ;) is that it was nerve pain. The sunburn somehow did something to the nerves in my right leg. (I literally have no idea - I've never experienced anything like it.) So instead of enjoying our Anniversary with the amazing date night we had planned, we had to cancel our babysitter while I laid in bed. Such a bummer.
When everything went downhill that Tuesday, my in-laws stepped up big time. They took the babies while Jon went in to work. Then on Wednesday, they picked up the babies for an overnight sleepover. Praise God for them! I got to rest and let my leg recover.
So Jon and I spent last night (Thursday night) at the Blue Lantern Inn. What a treat!
I've been reminded once again of how good God is. I am reminded of how personal His love is. I am reminded of how intimately He knows us and knows our story. Your story. My story.
How gracious of Him to not just give us a date night to replace our missed Anniversary - But to give us an extravagantly better Anniversary experience than we had even originally planned! And to make it all the more sweeter, He had us drive past the Inn on Monday, just to build the anticipation. ;)
God's ways are always gooder. ;) He can take our good plans and make them better. He can take our lame plans that we think are good and create better ones. When we make bad choices, He can redeem. When we make good choices, but are victims of circumstances, He is present - offering whatever is needed for restoration. He. Is. Gooder.
I realize this "blog post" (if you can even call it that) could have been summed up in 60 characters saying, "Jon and I spent the night at The Blue Lantern Inn last night." But I just couldn't. It was so much more than that. It was God telling us that He is here. Still.
You'd think by now His beauty would be running out for all these ashes.
But they're not.
Beauty for ashes. Beauty for ashes.
Daily.
New beauty.
Every morning.
I surrender my ashes...
And He gives me beauty in return.
He is here.
Still.
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